Defining Personal Values
The Compass Within: Navigating Life Through Values
I began my values journey by asking myself a few simple questions:
What do I stand for? Who have I helped? Why am I here?
At a younger age, these questions felt superficial. I’d scribble down answers without real thought, treating them like busywork. In reality, I was afraid. Afraid to admit that I didn’t know the answers—because I hadn’t done the work to discover them. I didn’t know what I stood for. I hadn’t helped anyone—if anything, I’d hurt people. And as for why I was here? I had no clue.
That fear and uncertainty overwhelmed me until I learned one crucial thing:
There is no “right” answer.
Your values—like you—change over time. The journey is about learning how to live in alignment with those evolving values. And for me, it all started with a question I used to hate:
“What do you do for a living?”
We’ve all been there.
Am I a pilot? An accountant? An employee? A CEO? An entrepreneur?
The labels kept shifting depending on who was asking. Each answer felt like a mask. I was more than a job title, but I didn’t know how to express that.
I didn’t want my work to define me anymore. I wanted a more meaningful answer—one that would spark deeper conversation and reflect my real priorities. I wanted to live a life centered around values. Today, I answer that question with pride:
“I live in my values of education, honesty, growth, hope, and contribution by creating actionable steps each day to enjoy my life.”
What values do you live by?
Step One: Define Your Values
Living by my values has brought me balance and peace. But it all began with clarity. If you’re starting this journey, grab a pen and paper. Write down the first five values that come to mind. Be honest. There’s no wrong answer.
I’ve included a worksheet below with a list of basic values to choose from. But let me share how my own list came to be—and how I learned to live by it.
Value #1: Education
At first, I misunderstood what values were. I wrote down “financial success,” thinking that achieving wealth would bring happiness. I was focused on extrinsic rewards. But happiness isn’t a destination—it’s a way of life.
My first true value was education. Not the kind from school or college, but self-education—the kind that comes from deep reflection, awareness, and personal growth. Ten years after swearing off the educational system, I redefined what learning meant to me. It became an enlightening, self-guided journey that lit me up from within. I realized I could change how I think, feel, and respond to the world. And in doing so, I could help others learn too.
Value #2: Honesty
This one hit hard. Honesty meant facing truths I’d long avoided:
My past drug use. Alcohol abuse. Failed relationships. A DUI. Debt. Shame.
I had always projected positivity on the outside, while inside, I was unraveling. My shame defined my decisions, clouded my self-worth, and held me hostage.
But honesty set me free.
By choosing to live in this value, I was finally able to own my story—not as a burden, but as a foundation for growth. I learned that being honest with myself and others was the first step to healing. The weight I’d carried for years began to lift.
Value #3: Growth
Growth is uncertain—and that used to terrify me. I clung to predictability, looping through routines I thought made me happy. Change felt like loss.
Eventually, I quit a job I’d had for eight years and gave myself time to reflect. For the first time, money wasn’t dictating my every move. At first, I panicked—but then I embraced the unknown. I discovered that when you stop fighting growth, creativity and peace take its place. I wasn’t just surviving anymore. I was transforming.
Value #4: Hope
Hope was one of the hardest values to implement. I’d always been a “realist”—someone who said “the problem with that is…” after every optimistic thought.
Working with my mental health coach, I realized that my mind had been trained to look for problems—because problems needed fixing. That mindset kept me trapped in negativity.
But hope isn’t naive. It’s courageous.
It allows your heart and soul to lead when your mind wants to control. Choosing hope meant changing my internal dialogue. It meant letting go of constant problem-solving and embracing possibility. I now understand that I control my thoughts—and I can choose hope, even when it’s hard.
Value #5: Contribution
For most of my life, I thought I didn’t have much to give.
Sure, I’d racked up hundreds of hours of community service as a teen (often mandated), but I wasn’t choosing to give. I was just surviving.
I rarely reached out to help others unless they asked. I believed I wasn’t in a position to contribute. But recent conversations with people I love have taught me otherwise. Contribution doesn’t mean saving the world—it means offering what you can, without expecting anything in return. I’m now exploring ways to live this value and give freely.
Final Thoughts
Now that you’ve read about the values that shaped my journey, I encourage you to define your own. You don’t need to get it perfect. Just start.
Choose values that feel unfamiliar.
Challenge yourself to live by them, even in small ways.
Write them down. Post them around your home.
Ask yourself daily: “Am I living within my values?”
Whether it’s a moment of road rage or a difficult conversation, use these questions to guide your response. Over time, your values will become second nature—and your life will begin to transform.
Revisit your values every few months. See if they still reflect who you are. If not, change them. Your values aren’t set in stone—they’re the compass guiding your journey.
Living by my values changed my life.
I hope this helps you begin the process of changing yours.
-HWE